Why it’s time to break the ‘supermom’ myth and embrace the ‘good enough’ mom

As outdated notions of gender and work change, it has now become more important to ask what workplaces - and the society at large - can do to help young mothers.

In 2015, Diksha Sethi returned to work just three months after having her son. It wasn’t out of choice. With both she and her husband working full-time, no family in the same city, and work-from-home not even a whisper of a possibility back then, she arranged for a nanny and jumped back in. Her body hadn’t healed. Her emotions were in free fall. And she was still figuring out how to be someone’s mother. “I was still dealing with postpartum depression and the guilt of leaving my baby," she says. “I remember keeping the CCTV app open on my phone all day just to make sure everything was okay at home."

Sethi had switched jobs during her pregnancy - something she was later told was a “rare" and “risky" move. “When I left that company after three years, someone said hiring me had been a favour. That broke me." The underlying message? Your motherhood was a liability. Today, Sethi, co-founder of Noida-based entrepreneurship community Start Solo, has a better perspective: “If a woman chooses to go back to work after becoming a mother, it should be her choice. But that choice shouldn’t come with penalties, pity, or the expectation that she’s exactly who she was before."

The bounce-back myth
Society loves a comeback story, and when it comes to new mothers, it demands one — fast. The post-birth “bounce back" myth insists that women should return to their pre-baby weight, performance, mindset, and emotional bandwidth within weeks of delivery. And if they don’t? There must be something wrong.

Prof. Ketoki Mazumdar, Faculty of Psychology, FLAME University, Pune calls it what it is: structural gaslighting. “This expectation carries serious psychological consequences-anxiety, guilt, feelings of inadequacy, even postpartum depression. Mothers often internalize the myth and blame themselves for falling short, when in truth, the system fails to support them." Samriti Makkar Midha, a Mumbai-based psychotherapist, agrees. “The pressure is not just to bounce back at work. It’s to be everything to everyone-still performing at peak levels professionally, while also being the ‘perfect’ mother, wife, daughter. It’s exhausting."

The stress doesn’t just come from bosses or social media. It comes from partners, family, even other women. Dr Archana Nirula, a Delhi-based gynaecologist, recalls a patient who had two children in quick succession and fell into severe depression from trying to meet impossible expectations. “She was judged by her in-laws for not ‘losing weight’ fast enough. No one asked how she was feeling or coping. She was alone with two infants, and yet people called her lazy." Eventually, Nirula advised the woman to go live with her parents for six months-just to recover emotionally. “We forget that bouncing back isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, psychological, hormonal. And it takes time."

The invisible bias at work
When women return to the workforce post-childbirth, they’re often greeted not with support, but with a degree of wariness. Shibani Kumar, founder of Propaganda, a creative agency in Mumbai, remembers the shift in how she was perceived. “People assumed I wouldn’t be as committed. Projects I used to get weren’t offered anymore. There was this subtle feeling that I had to prove myself all over again." She’s since reshaped her company culture to be what she wished she’d had. “We lead with trust, not micromanagement. Especially with mothers. I’ve seen how much they can handle-if you just let them do it their way."

This skepticism towards mothers is what researchers call the “maternal wall bias" - the assumption that motherhood diminishes ambition, availability, and competence. It’s quiet, but it’s pervasive.

Professor Smita Chaudhry, Faculty of Human Resources, FLAME University explains that while many companies now offer parental leave and flexible hours, biases linger in performance reviews, project assignments, and promotions. “The immediate supervisor is the most critical influence. If they assume a new mother isn’t serious about her job, the whole system responds accordingly." And when companies do support mothers meaningfully, the results are clear.

Almost every mother interviewed for this story mentioned guilt-not in passing, but as a daily, heavy undercurrent. “The guilt is systemic," says Mazumdar. “We’re taught that good motherhood means self-sacrifice. That taking time for yourself is indulgent or neglectful. It becomes hardwired."

Mothers aren’t just shamed for leaving babies to go to work. They’re judged for going out for a coffee, needing sleep, or admitting they’re struggling. Social media feeds this too. “There was a time," Kumar says, “when all I saw were these hyper-productive moms who’d ‘snapped back’ in weeks-fit, glowing, running businesses, smiling in every post. I felt like I was failing just for feeling tired." But the tide is turning. More women are speaking up, sharing the messy parts, and making room for honesty. “That vulnerability is gold," Kumar adds. “It tells you you’re not alone."

Redefining support
Support doesn’t start and end with maternity leave. It’s in policies, sure-but also in peer culture, leadership attitudes, and structural empathy. Some organizations are catching on. At Bharat Serums and Vaccines, CHRO Nilesh Kulkarni says their maternity policy is built to go beyond compliance. “We want mothers to return to work feeling empowered, not penalized." Nirula points to Cisco India’s “Coming Back to Work" initiative as a powerful example. “They created a peer-based support group just for new mothers. It became a space to share, vent, ask questions, and know you weren’t alone."

At a broader level, societal conditioning needs rewiring too. “We must stop glorifying martyrdom," says Mazumdar. “Motherhood doesn’t mean losing yourself. We need to amplify models of shared parenting, emotional honesty, and collective care." That includes educating men-from childhood. “If sons don’t grow up seeing their fathers share caregiving, they won’t step up when it’s their turn," says Nirula. That the World Health Organisation (WHO) chose a theme centred on maternal and newborn health- ‘Healthy beginnings, hopeful futures’-for World Health Day on 7 April this year is a step in the right direction.

The real revolution, however, may lie in reframing what it means to be a “good mother." Not perfect. Not superhuman. Just good enough. Nirula advocates for “good enough motherhood"-a term that embraces effort, imperfection, and the importance of self-care. “A mother who is rested and emotionally well is better equipped to raise a healthy child than one who sacrifices herself entirely." It’s not about lowering standards. It’s about redefining them.

Diksha Sethi sums it up best: “Motherhood is a transformation. It doesn’t make you less capable. If anything, it makes you more resourceful, more driven, more focused. We just need to stop punishing women for going through it."

The help Moms need

The goal of motherhood shouldn’t be to bounce back. It should be to move forward-with dignity, support, and choice. The ask is simple, but urgent:

1. Normalize flexible work as a right, not a favour.
2. Train managers and teams to support, not sideline, new mothers.
3. Create internal support networks, re-entry programs, and mentorship.
4. Redesign performance metrics to accommodate life transitions.
5. Most importantly, listen-to mothers, not myths.

This article has valuable insights from Prof. Ketoki Mazumdar, Faculty of Psychology, FLAME University and Prof. Smita Chaudhary, Faculty of Human Resources, FLAME University.